Skip to main content

Searching for my cause

Have you ever doubted your purpose in life? Have you ever thought, “What am I supposed to be doing?” Or why am I here? Why don’t I have a mission in life?

I have, with increasing intensity.I’ve been wrestling with the question, “What’s next God?” I started asking God, “What do you want me to do? What would you have me do for you? What did you put me on this earth for? What is my cause?”

I wanted him to tell me to start a ministry or be a spiritual warrior in faraway lands on a faraway adventure. I wanted him to give me a big cause so that I could do big things for him in big ways. In the midst of working through the weight and burden of feeling like I didn’t have a cause, I felt like God reminded me that he doesn’t think like I do. Maybe, when he hears me crying out, when he hears me asking him to transform me into a spiritual warrior, he wants to cry back:

"You want to be a warrior? Be a warrior of need and surrender. Make fighting for a relationship with me your greatest cause and see what other causes come out of that. See what other causes I put in your path. I can bring you adventures, but those things are small. Those are tiny compared to the cause of surrendering your heart and soul to me. That's your cause right now. Daily, hourly surrender of your heart and soul to me. You are on an adventure, make no mistake, but the real adventure, the big one that I cheer loudest about from the bleachers of heaven is for your heart. The adventure that begins every morning. That is the adventure I care about. Don't miss that one."

And I do, I miss it all the time because I focus on "what's next" instead of "what's now." I get so lost thinking I need to “do something for him” instead of “be in a relationship with him.” I don't want to miss that adventure.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hear the sirens....

Cold winter evening, perched on the window seat near the fire, snow falling from the cold gray skies above, Fingers intertwined around a glass of Malbec. Sirens and suddenly the mind begins its decent down a road, long sense pushed to the edge of the mind. Far from the madness, thought I'd escaped. Sirens, it takes my breath away, for a moment the rise and fall of my breathing becomes labored as I gasp for air, the oxygen suddenly seems to have evaporated from the room. I'm desperate to get air, for I've no idea what's happening, mind racing, how could I lose control in an instant, how did I forget how to breathe. Suddenly the emotion is all to clear as it begins, flooding  my entire being, washing over my soul as the rains fill the lake overflowing breaking the dam. I feel tears begin to stream down my face. I'm thrown into a sea of memories, desire, joyous, dreamy, unforgettable, closeness, connection, carefree, all sane thoughts compartmetalized into tiny boxes, ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Serving Leftovers to a Holy God!

God wants our best, deserves our best, and demands our best, from the beginning of time, He has been clear that some offerings are acceptable to him and others are not. It's easy to fill ourselves up with other things and then give God whatever is left. Hosea 13:6 says, "When I fed them, they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me." God gets a scrap or two only because we feel guilty for not giving Him nothing. A mumbled three minute prayer at the end of the day, when we are already half asleep. Two crumpled-up dollar bills thrown as an afterthought into the church's fund for the poor. Fetch, God! Wow! this brings tears to my eyes, for this is me, so busy with my life, kids, family that I have been satisfied just giving Him my leftovers! Leftovers are not merely inadequate; from God's point of view(and lest we forget, His is the only one that matters), they're evil. lets stop calling it a "busy schedule" or ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Love of God....

June 2015, notes -  Like a wave crashing against the bank of the shoreline, my heart wants to let go and crash into the waters of pure sadness, I want to wallow, if just for a moment in the ocean of great pain and loss. I want to be angry and sad all at the same time. I want to yell at God, yes...I want to be mad at God for my losses, for this bone crushing pain that has been life altering, for my weakness, for all the bad that's happened in my life, yet as I look up through the dark clouds from this place of great sadness and wounded heart.  I see a glimpse of sunshine as I hear my Fathers voice, shhhh....Cam, it will be okay, look at the beauty of all God has blessed our family with. Blessed you with. I realize, yes, there has been much pain and heartache, but there's also been so much, Joy, Peace, Laughter, Family, Children, and Friends.   I've been surrounded by a great deal of Love. A Father who chose me to be his Daughter, who has loved me unconditionally, my greate...
Post a Comment
Read more