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Searching for my cause

Have you ever doubted your purpose in life? Have you ever thought, “What am I supposed to be doing?” Or why am I here? Why don’t I have a mission in life?

I have, with increasing intensity.I’ve been wrestling with the question, “What’s next God?” I started asking God, “What do you want me to do? What would you have me do for you? What did you put me on this earth for? What is my cause?”

I wanted him to tell me to start a ministry or be a spiritual warrior in faraway lands on a faraway adventure. I wanted him to give me a big cause so that I could do big things for him in big ways. In the midst of working through the weight and burden of feeling like I didn’t have a cause, I felt like God reminded me that he doesn’t think like I do. Maybe, when he hears me crying out, when he hears me asking him to transform me into a spiritual warrior, he wants to cry back:

"You want to be a warrior? Be a warrior of need and surrender. Make fighting for a relationship with me your greatest cause and see what other causes come out of that. See what other causes I put in your path. I can bring you adventures, but those things are small. Those are tiny compared to the cause of surrendering your heart and soul to me. That's your cause right now. Daily, hourly surrender of your heart and soul to me. You are on an adventure, make no mistake, but the real adventure, the big one that I cheer loudest about from the bleachers of heaven is for your heart. The adventure that begins every morning. That is the adventure I care about. Don't miss that one."

And I do, I miss it all the time because I focus on "what's next" instead of "what's now." I get so lost thinking I need to “do something for him” instead of “be in a relationship with him.” I don't want to miss that adventure.

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