SecretLifeOfDawn

Have you ever doubted your purpose in life? Have you ever thought, “What am I supposed to be doing?” Or why am I here? Why don’t I have a mission in life? I have, with increasing intensity.I’ve been wrestling with the question, “What’s next God?” I started asking God, “What do you want me to do? What would you have me do for you? What did you put me on this earth for? What is my cause?” I wanted him to tell me to start a ministry or be a spiritual warrior in faraway lands on a faraway adventure. I wanted him to give me a big cause so that I could do big things for him in big ways. In the midst of working through the weight and burden of feeling like I didn’t have a cause, I felt like God reminded me that he doesn’t think like I do. Maybe, when he hears me crying out, when he hears me asking him to transform me into a spiritual warrior, he wants to cry back: "You want to be a warrior? Be a warrior of need and surrender. Make fighting for a relationship with me your greatest cause a...

I know there is a God. I know there is a heaven. I know to never take life for granted, (but I often get busy and do). I know that it's those small daily happenings(in my own world) that make life so spectacular. I know that no matter how bad things get, there are always people in this world who care. I know that whenever he says my name "Cami" it's still feels like the very first time he said it. I know that it's an honor and a privilege to be Ethan, Elaine and Evan's Mommy, I know that all to soon my children will be all grown up with lives of their own (so, I cherish every moment, that I get to spend with them). I know that the older I get the more I appreciate my parents. I know that if I worry I should pray and I know that if I pray I shouldn't worry. I know that God is still in control. I know for sure, that it rains on the just and the unjust alike. I know exercising feels great and clears your head. I know you don't need words to say "I lo...

Before I post this, I have to tell you, this is so... funny!, it totally... reminds of my Father. Whenever I read this he comes to mind and I just think it is the most hilarious story I have ever... read. Let me just say, that I have the sweetest, kindest, most loving Father in the entire world and I love him to the moon...!, but he hates to exercise or do anything that could possibly bring on any type of a sweat. A few years back he did join the gym and he had a personal trainer (a sweet young guy). He and my Mother went out and purchased an entire new workout wardrobe for his new adventure in the gym. Now, whenever I feel the blahs, I just pull up this story and read it, believe me, when I say it has made many a day for me. So read it and enjoy... A WEEK AT THE GYM: ONE MAN'S STORY This is dedicated to everyone who ever attempted to get into a regular workout routine. Dear Diary. For my sixty fifth birthday this year, my wife (the dear) purchased a week of personal training at th...

A year or two ago there were raging fires in Southern California that burned down several camp grounds, one of which I went to several times as a kid. A few weeks back my hubby and I took the munchkins to Julian for the day of picking apples at an orchard and hiking. It was such a beautiful fall day as we drove up through the mountains. You could see where the fires aftermath had taken it's toll on the trees. Some were completely burned out, while others were at the beginnings of new growth. As we were winding through and around the mountains I was amazed at such beauty, then we came to the camp ground where I used to go camping as kid. The entire camp had burned to the ground, the only thing still standing are the two brick columns at each end of what was the mess hall/meeting room. It was so strange for me to see this place all burned and empty. This was such a happy place for me to go to as a child, this was the place were everything was good, life was great! So many wonderful m...

Have you ever realized just how much a certain scent or song can bring up past feelings and memories,just by hearing or smelling something. I can even take it a step farther by saying I can just be going through my day, doing the norm everyday stuff, hear a song from the past and bam! all of a sudden... my mood changes. Sometimes the memories are so strong that at times I have been brought to tears, just by hearing a song. Is that weird or what!, literally...my whole day may end up in funk!(my hubby says that I am absolutely oddballish this way) just by hearing a song or the smell of a scent. I can't...help it, it's like the whole coffee issue I have, just the smell of coffee gives me a certain high that cannot be explained. A few years back my sweet hubby bought me this really cool CD, that I loved and played everyday over and over so much so that my munchkins even started complaining, a bit excessive, I know. Then, in the midst of my excessive playing of this CD, a family me...

I've had an on again, off again relationship with coffee for so long now that I don't even really remember just when or how it all started. I do know that our friendship/relationship (if that's what you want to call it) had somewhat of a rocky start, sometimes I was in the mood...other times...yeah, not so much. As the years passed coffee and I became more than just friends, it turned into love, real love, thus began, this beautiful, crazy, weird, needy, obsessed relationship with coffee. I know that I need help, seriously, I should probably see a counselor, have some therapy for my addiction to this sweet, delicious tasting concoction called coffee, really I should, after all I am married, I have three crumb crunchers and loads of responsibilities to do each and everyday. I am so addicted to coffee that my own children(the poor souls) know that it's best not to talk to mommy in the morning until she (that would be moi) has had a cup of coffee, you see, I have trained m...

I turned forty this past spring, me, 40 years old! I tried all year long to ignore my age. It's so depressing this new phase of my life. I am no longer referred to as miss, girl or young lady I am now Mrs. or Mam. Now, I simply ignore those people who have decided to put me in this category, the clerks, salespeople, baggers (at least the young cute one's) at the grocery store, my nail girl (for this she gets no referrals from me!, this is my way of getting her back for calling out in the salon...oh, mam... you forgot your keys, really is that necessary!) ect... and anyone else who has deemed me old! No, I don't desire to be a kid or a teenager ever again, although I had the time of my life with no responsibilities and parents who pretty much gave us all that we desired or wished for (this, I am not passing on to my children.), I like being an adult. I just don't like that I'm getting older, I don't like that my face cream is no longer for women who are 40(acco...