The loss that has invaded ones soul and consumes ones daily living, the only light seen is that which comes through the cracks in the wall put up as only a show of strength. The loss is great, feelings of abandonment rise up again and again as the sadness comes in waves, reckless with life not caring of life nor death, having understood this was how it was meant to be at the loss of each tie that held it together, making one believe, not by blood, but by love we are connected, realizing long ago it is by blood, of which there is none. Ties cut, wounds are deep, yet life keeps moving strangely forward.
Cold winter evening, perched on the window seat near the fire, snow falling from the cold gray skies above, Fingers intertwined around a glass of Malbec. Sirens and suddenly the mind begins its decent down a road, long sense pushed to the edge of the mind. Far from the madness, thought I'd escaped. Sirens, it takes my breath away, for a moment the rise and fall of my breathing becomes labored as I gasp for air, the oxygen suddenly seems to have evaporated from the room. I'm desperate to get air, for I've no idea what's happening, mind racing, how could I lose control in an instant, how did I forget how to breathe. Suddenly the emotion is all to clear as it begins, flooding my entire being, washing over my soul as the rains fill the lake overflowing breaking the dam. I feel tears begin to stream down my face. I'm thrown into a sea of memories, desire, joyous, dreamy, unforgettable, closeness, connection, carefree, all sane thoughts compartmetalized into tiny boxes, ...
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