Season of sadness

May 30, 2015 3:36pm - my notes, that I've been unable to post until now. I've been the strongest I've ever been in my entire life. Yet I feel incredibly weak, the sadness that fill my eyes, the screams of gut wrenching pain that creep in, are held back, not by strength, for I have so little left to cling to, but by hands wrapped around my mouth, fingers intertwined to lock in any escape of distress through clinched teeth and eyes ever so tightly closed, in hopes of pushing away the ever so present pain, and for the next moment I have found success.

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I Miss Everything - Marc Collis with lyrics

temporary madness

Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away,

Broken ties

The loss that has invaded ones soul and consumes ones daily living, the only light seen is that which comes through the cracks in the wall put up as only a show of strength. The loss is great, feelings of abandonment rise up again and again as the sadness comes in waves, reckless with life not caring of life nor death, having understood this was how it was meant to be at the loss of each tie that held it together, making one believe, not by blood, but by love we are connected, realizing long ago it is by blood, of which there is none. Ties cut, wounds are deep, yet life keeps moving strangely forward.

SecretLifeOfDawn

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