Season of sadness

May 30, 2015 3:36pm - my notes, that I've been unable to post until now. I've been the strongest I've ever been in my entire life. Yet I feel incredibly weak, the sadness that fill my eyes, the screams of gut wrenching pain that creep in, are held back, not by strength, for I have so little left to cling to, but by hands wrapped around my mouth, fingers intertwined to lock in any escape of distress through clinched teeth and eyes ever so tightly closed, in hopes of pushing away the ever so present pain, and for the next moment I have found success.

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Serving Leftovers to a Holy God!

God wants our best, deserves our best, and demands our best, from the beginning of time, He has been clear that some offerings are acceptable to him and others are not. It's easy to fill ourselves up with other things and then give God whatever is left. Hosea 13:6 says, "When I fed them, they were satisfied; when they were satisfied, they became proud; then they forgot me." God gets a scrap or two only because we feel guilty for not giving Him nothing. A mumbled three minute prayer at the end of the day, when we are already half asleep. Two crumpled-up dollar bills thrown as an afterthought into the church's fund for the poor. Fetch, God! Wow! this brings tears to my eyes, for this is me, so busy with my life, kids, family that I have been satisfied just giving Him my leftovers! Leftovers are not merely inadequate; from God's point of view(and lest we forget, His is the only one that matters), they're evil. lets stop calling it a "busy schedule" or ...

Word of the Day

THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION A phrase usually indicating that the speaker has absolutely no idea how to answer said question. Often used to stall for time. Photography teacher walking in on students who should be at pep rally: What are you doing here? Sreya: That's a good question!

California Girl

Recently I took a trip back home to San Diego. A trip I wasn't completely sure I could follow through with. I had been planning to return for several months, things fell into place a few months prior and with that, the excitement of going home begin to outweigh the dread and sadness I thought I may encounter once back in California. As the days begin to draw closer to my trip my anxiety begin to build, I was so excited to return, yet in the back of my mind I often felt a cloud of sadness begin to surround me. For the past two years it's been easier to be across the country then home. The pain is easier to push away, it's easy for him to be here with me in a place of beauty and happiness, it's easy for him to still be real, it's easy to talk about him in the present, not live in the past surrounded by darkness. He's real to me here, he hasn't left, he's alive and I speak of my Dad often. I find myself telling my new friends, my patients, even strangers...

SecretLifeOfDawn

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