May 30, 2015 3:36pm - my notes, that I've been unable to post until now. I've been the strongest I've ever been in my entire life. Yet I feel incredibly weak, the sadness that fill my eyes, the screams of gut wrenching pain that creep in, are held back, not by strength, for I have so little left to cling to, but by hands wrapped around my mouth, fingers intertwined to lock in any escape of distress through clinched teeth and eyes ever so tightly closed, in hopes of pushing away the ever so present pain, and for the next moment I have found success.
"She is a paradox. She is faithful and yet detached. She is committed and yet relaxed. She loves everyone and yet no one. She is sociable but also a loner. She is gentle and yet tough. She is passionate but can also be platonic, in short, she is predictable in her unpredictability..."

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