Season of sadness

May 30, 2015 3:36pm - my notes, that I've been unable to post until now. I've been the strongest I've ever been in my entire life. Yet I feel incredibly weak, the sadness that fill my eyes, the screams of gut wrenching pain that creep in, are held back, not by strength, for I have so little left to cling to, but by hands wrapped around my mouth, fingers intertwined to lock in any escape of distress through clinched teeth and eyes ever so tightly closed, in hopes of pushing away the ever so present pain, and for the next moment I have found success.

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What did you do today

A man came home from work and found his three children outside, still in their pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door to the house and there was no sign of the dog. Proceeding Into the entry, he found an even bigger mess. A lamp had been knocked over, and the throw rug was wadded against one wall. In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon channel, and the family room was strewn with toys and various items of clothing. In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink, breakfast food was spilled on the counter, the fridge door was open wide, dog food was spilled on the floor, a broken glass lay under the table, and a small pile of sand was spread by the back door. He quickly headed up the stairs, stepping over toys and more piles of clothes, looking for his wife. He was worried she might be ill, or that something serious had happened. He was met with a ...

What I know for sure...

I know there is a God. I know there is a heaven. I know to never take life for granted, (but I often get busy and do). I know that it's those small daily happenings(in my own world) that make life so spectacular. I know that no matter how bad things get, there are always people in this world who care. I know that whenever he says my name "Cami" it's still feels like the very first time he said it. I know that it's an honor and a privilege to be Ethan, Elaine and Evan's Mommy, I know that all to soon my children will be all grown up with lives of their own (so, I cherish every moment, that I get to spend with them). I know that the older I get the more I appreciate my parents. I know that if I worry I should pray and I know that if I pray I shouldn't worry. I know that God is still in control. I know for sure, that it rains on the just and the unjust alike. I know exercising feels great and clears your head. I know you don't need words to say "I lo...

Camp Wallahee

A year or two ago there were raging fires in Southern California that burned down several camp grounds, one of which I went to several times as a kid. A few weeks back my hubby and I took the munchkins to Julian for the day of picking apples at an orchard and hiking. It was such a beautiful fall day as we drove up through the mountains. You could see where the fires aftermath had taken it's toll on the trees. Some were completely burned out, while others were at the beginnings of new growth. As we were winding through and around the mountains I was amazed at such beauty, then we came to the camp ground where I used to go camping as kid. The entire camp had burned to the ground, the only thing still standing are the two brick columns at each end of what was the mess hall/meeting room. It was so strange for me to see this place all burned and empty. This was such a happy place for me to go to as a child, this was the place were everything was good, life was great! So many wonderful m...

SecretLifeOfDawn

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